Over the years as an art major, I have been assigned to record myself through self-portraits for different classes. While I enjoy looking at myself in the mirror for drawings or using self timers for photos, deciding how I want to be viewed can be difficult. Am I comfortable showing this finished portrait in front of peers and faculty? Am I comfortable explaining my reasoning behind what I wore, my composition, or my expression? Even projects not based on my physical appearance are portraits of myself. There is no taking my hand out of a piece of art.
This quote by Donald Winnicott prompted this reflection on introspection:
"ARTISTS ARE PEOPLE DRIVEN BY THE TENSION BETWEEN THE DESIRE TO COMMUNICATE AND THE DESIRE TO HIDE."
This was a topic brought up in my senior seminar class last year. As an artist, what do I wish to communicate? And do I wish to communicate? How healthy is it for an artist to make for others as opposed to just making for themselves? Because at the end of the day, all art communicates, but as an artist we must be the ones to control what is being communicated and to what end.
I thought for a while that I made art because it could express a part of me I keep hidden. But then I realized more and more that maybe I want to keep some things hidden. It is a constant struggle of letting people in, but being afraid how far they can dig.
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